The Brain

The self. It seems to me that really the key to getting it right seems to come back to the self. This is clearly different from the selfish, and yet connected. When we stop to consider it, how much time is spent doing or behaving in a way to try and get the best out of other people? How many times does one think, 'if I do this they will do that?'. The truth is, most of the time we will be disappointed. With every human being having a different ideal of right and wrong, correct and incorrect, kind and unkind, could it be that the brain is actually over-developed? Our power of thought can quite often be our undoing. So many are hours spent worrying, stressing, over-analysing and generally driving ourselves crazy, is this all really necessary and what can we do about it? It's all well and good to keep falling over to be told 'past is past just move on and learn from it', however once you spiral towards the plug hole, it just isn't always that easy.
I personally have spent my lifetime to date on the external. The pattern has been about training the body, decorating it with tattoos and dressing it in the right clothes to portray what I want to say. My lifetime to date has been spent on the great curriculum vitae, perhaps to cover all bases in time for the final interview to meet my maker! Life has come down to a collection of physical, academic and creative accolades in order to prove to myself and show the world the I have had a complete life. Time and time again I have seen my journey as a pie chart, split into income, physical, intellectual and creative. Oh my, seem busy, seem complete, well let me tell you, there is so much missing. It's much easier to build the outside than the 'in' and yet, real strength comes from within.

Reflection

It sounds like a slightly cheesy word, 'reflection' buts lets face it, how much time do we spend in this place? Wise men say 'past is past' but that does represent quite a challenge. In reality, how much time do we spend breathing heavily and wading through contemplation about what could have been and what might have happened if..? One of he most basic keys of wisdom must surely be, if we have more control of our thoughts, we can change our feelings and actions. I once wrote a song called 'Whose Children' with a lyric in the chorus saying 'the state of all mankind is dependent on your mind'. As time advances, I am realising more and more how true this is. So where am I today? Well, presently sitting up in bed, strong coffee to my right, laptop dead ahead. I've don't the diary thing, as a youngster, done a blog once before but for some reason, this time feels different. Less of a cathartic journey in self exploration and more a passage of life contemplation. Everybody seems stressed, unwell due to stress related illness, over rushed, frustrated, angry and generally dissatisfied. Having been surrounded by a generous helping of bereavement and loss, time and health seem continually more precious and its making me consider what needs to happen to get the most out of each moment. Though I have one heck of a lot to learn, I think part of the key to fulfilment includes who we spend our time with and how we think.
Some days really feel like they are there to test us. We sigh more than normal, feel perhaps more aware of our breathing and our own heart beat. It's challenging to explore the best way to cope in these situations. Perhaps a combination of meditation, medication (just kidding) and perhaps an endorphin rush with the help of a sturdy punch bag! Then there is the other angle, maybe in some may we grow from just living the feelings, even if unpleasant. There surely comes a time for everybody when the unexpected will happen and send us into a spin for a temporary loss of perspective. Maybe these occurrences are indicators of a time for change, a time to do things differently. That in it self can be a scary journey. It's often easier to stay stuck, in the very place you're trying to get out of, than actually do something different. However, if you keep adding 1 + 1 it keeps making 2. All said and done, it's only by taking the first steps of risk that there is a chance of achieving everything we aspire to be.